The Beaux Window

 

Who could ask for a more ornate frame... for a portrait of purest vanity?

Envisage, if you will, a gaggle of grown men, sat snarking at almost anyone who dared pass before their gaze. A fashion jury of Regency London who would gather in the bow window of White's Club.

The most tailored of the Haut Ton - a clique whose bizarre authority led even the Duke of Wellington to harbour "a high opinion of that mysterious and terrible tribunal." (1) 

So what severity of focus could have scorched those strolling, or scurrying, along fashionable St. James's street? Well, there may have been a bemused observer among those pitiless governors of Regency style.

And this eventually led to Beau Brummell (and cohorts) becoming victims of an epic-length satire! The work of an equally observant wit, Henry Luttrell, whom Byron described as "the best sayer of good things, and the most epigrammatic conversationist I ever met".

Luttrell's poetic volume 'Advice to Julia' is described by the Dictionary of National Biography as "a brief society epic" containing "vignettes of London life" - otherwise labelled 'Letters from a Dandy to a Dolly'. (2)

Much of the author's terminology doesn't easily translate across the centuries. However, there are many revealing passages of poetic justice:

Shot from yon heavenly Bow at White's,

No critic arrow yet alights

On some unconscious passer-by

Whose cape's an inch too low or high,

Whose doctrines are unsound in hat,

In boots, in trousers or cravat;

On him who braves the shame and guilt

Of gig or Tilbury ill-built, (3)

Sports a barouche with panels darker

Than the last shade turned out by Barker,

Or canters with an awkward seat

Or badly mounted, up the street.' 

'Silenced awhile that dreadful battery 

Whence never issued sound of flattery, 

That whole artillery of jokes 

Levelled point-blank at hum-drum folks.' 

Luttrell lends particular emphasis to the elaborate ‘ingenuity’ behind achieving the perfect cravat. Indeed the epic style of this portion of 'Advice...' parodies excessive devotion to the ritual:   

' “Have you, my friend,” I've heard him say,

“Been lucky in your turns to-day?” –

‘Think not that what I ask alludes

To fortune's stale vicissitudes.

To her capricious ups and downs,

Her treacherous smiles, or withering frowns...’

‘Nor heed I, if, in times so critical,

You’ve managed well your turns political.

The turns of your cravat, I mean,

Tell me if these have lucky been, 

Have your attempts at once succeeded

Or (while an hour has passed unheeded

And unregretted) have you toiled

Till a week's laundry has been spoiled,

Ere round your neck, in every fold

Exact, the muslin has been rolled,

And, dexterously in front confined,

Has kept the proper set behind;

Not letting loose, nor pinning in

One jot too much of neck or chin?

In short, by dint of hand and eye,

Have you achieved a perfect tie?

These are my turns - t'were idle pother

To waste a thought on any other.'

‘Should yours (kind heaven, avert the omen!)

Like the cravats of vulgar, low men

Asunder start – and yawning wide,

Disclose a chasm on either side,

Letting, behind its checkered screen,

The secrets of your throat be seen;

Or should it stubbornly persist

To take some awkward, tasteless twist,

Some crease indelible, and look

Just like a dunce's dog’s-eared book,

How would you parry the disgrace?

In what assembly show your face?

How brook your rival's scornful glance,

Or partner's titter in the dance?

How, in the morning, dare to meet

The quizzes of the park or street?

Your occupation's gone, – in vain

Hope to dine out or flirt again.

The ladies from their lists will put you,

And even I, my friend, must cut you!'

If there’s a moral to any of this, let us perhaps dwell upon the slightly kinder words of later dandy, Mr. Quentin Crisp: 

"Dressing with style is akin to issuing a manifesto; dressing fashionably is like signing a petition." (4)

REFERENCES

1) ‘Beau Brummell – The Ultimate Dandy’, Ian Kelly (Hodder & Stoughton, 2005)

2) ‘Advice to Julia – a letter in rhyme’, Henry Luttrell (John Murray publishers, 1820)

3) A few stagecoach details: 'Barker' being a prestigious manufacturer of the era; 'gig', 'Tilbury' and 'barouche' being particular types of carriage.

4) 'Doing It with Style', Quentin Crisp & Donald Carroll (Franklin Watts, 1981)